Dark Past

God has a funny way to make things work. Funnily enough I have just found out that one of my good friends is friends with his ex adversary, namely my used to be beloved. I wonder to myself why it has not happen earlier. That would make my life easier then.

I too wonder about my used to be beloved. Is he happier now? Truth be told, he was not really my beloved, more like my unrequited love, but yes ,it was love then. I waited long enough for him, 5 years to be exact. Too long that I decided to discard him from my life altogether. The pain was too much to keep him around. I heard that he is single now, and I thought to myself what could have happen, if things were still the same. 

When the thought crosses my mind, I feel like I was cheating towards my better half. I should not wonder. My life is a garden of roses now. Still I wonder about others, if they ever have the same thought in their life before. Nevertheless, if the table were to be turned, I wish my future husband will not wonder at all, or rekindle any feelings.  Hence, I promise myself to pack away my old memories and decide to make new memories, with the one and only, love of my life, my soul mate.

 Pandora's Box

Old memories make its way back to my life today,

I peek at it a little bit, out of curiosity,

A pandora’s box, about to be opened.

Our recollections suddenly resurface,

Of Bangkok, Phuket and Pattaya,

A pleasing aide memoire of our life together,

And it brought me back to reality.

Thus I close the box again,

Locking it tightly and throw it out in the ocean,

For it should sink deep down,

And never to be found again.

And from now on I am sailing away,

As the ocean calms down,

You and I head out,

To a world full with wonder,

Loved and safe, with you next to me,

Continuing our voyage together,

Till the end of time.

P/S.  I hope that my better half will never find this entry, however should he found ever it , I hope he knows deep down in his heart that my past is finally over. I just need to get this out of my chest, and it stops here. I can move on peacefully now, and I look forward to the future where there is only my better half and me.

Clueless mademoiselle remains clueless