Dark Past

God has a funny way to make things work. Funnily enough I have just found out that one of my good friends is friends with his ex adversary, namely my used to be beloved. I wonder to myself why it has not happen earlier. That would make my life easier then.

I too wonder about my used to be beloved. Is he happier now? Truth be told, he was not really my beloved, more like my unrequited love, but yes ,it was love then. I waited long enough for him, 5 years to be exact. Too long that I decided to discard him from my life altogether. The pain was too much to keep him around. I heard that he is single now, and I thought to myself what could have happen, if things were still the same. 

When the thought crosses my mind, I feel like I was cheating towards my better half. I should not wonder. My life is a garden of roses now. Still I wonder about others, if they ever have the same thought in their life before. Nevertheless, if the table were to be turned, I wish my future husband will not wonder at all, or rekindle any feelings.  Hence, I promise myself to pack away my old memories and decide to make new memories, with the one and only, love of my life, my soul mate.

 Pandora's Box

Old memories make its way back to my life today,

I peek at it a little bit, out of curiosity,

A pandora’s box, about to be opened.

Our recollections suddenly resurface,

Of Bangkok, Phuket and Pattaya,

A pleasing aide memoire of our life together,

And it brought me back to reality.

Thus I close the box again,

Locking it tightly and throw it out in the ocean,

For it should sink deep down,

And never to be found again.

And from now on I am sailing away,

As the ocean calms down,

You and I head out,

To a world full with wonder,

Loved and safe, with you next to me,

Continuing our voyage together,

Till the end of time.

P/S.  I hope that my better half will never find this entry, however should he found ever it , I hope he knows deep down in his heart that my past is finally over. I just need to get this out of my chest, and it stops here. I can move on peacefully now, and I look forward to the future where there is only my better half and me.

Clueless mademoiselle remains clueless

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How time flies by. I stumble upon my own little blog ( little being that hardly anyone ever read it ). I miss writing, especially poems. For the past 2 years, well almost 3 years, I sell my soul to the corporate world. Thus, when your soul is trapped, you have nowhere to go, not even to your own little sanctuary (which is my blog). Still I try to update my Tumblr whenever I can, dedicated mostly to my better half. That's another type of blog, for the hopeless romantics.

I think I lost my creativity. I hope not for long. While I am away from writing, I still do some reading on blogs. I love reading blogs/poems just as much as writing it. This is one of my favourite poems which I like to share. 

Desiderata of Happiness.

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

By Maxx Ehrman